Thursday, August 31, 2006

WTF of the Week

Albeit this is a direct cause of eating, it's just too disgusting to post amid food talk, so you'll have to look for yourself.

And just in case you have any revenge to take on anyone, this may be of help.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Kitchen Is For Cooking, Not Killing.

So it's been a while since I cooked anything for you. I'm not too sure what you kids like to eat. So maybe you could give me some ideas and I'll post your favourites. In the mean time, here are some tips for your everyday kitchen adventures (that's assuming of course that you all know where your kitchen is....ahem, Angela).


~* Don't use sponges. They harbour yucky bugs that'll make the toilet your new best friend. Opt for paper towel and washable dish clothes instead (don't forget to actually wash the clothes. Once every few days is probably best). And find a place to hang that cloth so that it can dry after each use because germies (like most men) enjoy warm, moist, dark places. If you must use sponges or scrubbies, make sure you're letting them dry between uses and tossing them out, at least, weekly.

~* Put a thermometer in your fridge. Ya know, it's always baffled me why thermometers aren't just a part of any cooling appliance, but alas they are not. So. Do you know what temperature your fridge should be operating at? Between 0 and 4 degrees celsius or 40 degrees farenheit.

~* Never ever ever ever never refreeze thawed food. Please no.

~* Entertaining is lovely isn't it? Especially outside in the summer sun. The hot, baking summer sun. And all of those mayonaise laiden salads sitting out, stewing in said sun. The point people? Eating amongst friends does not make you immune to botchulism. Hot foods must remain hot and cold foods must remain cold. Unless of course you like hospitals and funerals, then do as you wish.

~* Finally, store your raw meats on the bottom of your fridge. Nothin' says lovin' like chicken juice in the lettuce.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

A little bitta Bullshit

Colbert lost to Barry Manilow.

LOST wasn't even nominated and 24 won.

Neuticals. *aka fake animal balls*


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Things That Give Me A Rash

We all love to bitch about something. Ok. So maybe some more than others-some including moi of course. So shut up and listen to me whine for a bit and then you can have your own damn turn.

:: I don't know about the rest of the universe, but here in Canada we have turning lanes on our paved roads. Through the busier of city streets, there are complete centre lanes designed solely for turning wherever your little heart desires. Problem is, most folk seem to be afraid of these lanes. People. Signal-enter the centre lane-then slow down. Not the other fucking way around. Move bitch, get out the way!

:: I hate it when I enter a public washroom and it's empty and it smells like shit. Cause (other than the fact that it smells like shit) the next person who comes in behind me thinks that I made the stink. Hate that.

:: What makes my ass break out in hives? A government that sells the smokes, takes my taxes for the smokes and then tells me I can't smoke em' cause they're so BAD. So when does the booze makes you barf (and do other things that are very bad) campaign start? If there are pics of rotting teeth on my smokes, when do the pics of a pile of bile show up on the vodka? Just askin'.

:: The customer is always right. BULLf'nSHIT!! ya heard me.

:: this

:: If murder were legal, the flyer boy would be beaten to death with his own stack.

:: Even a paper bag can't help this annoying freak. Still not working .

And finally, I'll leave you with this, just because I love you.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I Hope You Dance

When I was 8 I had a guinea pig. Her name was Blondie. I loved her. She squeeked and eeked and munched on pellets. Sometimes I'd let her out of her cage to play with me. Usually she'd run and hide under my bed. Timid little thing. One day, my family and I went on vacation. I was going to miss my little friend and I thought she'd miss me too. So I left her with a friend. A little stuffed bear about the same size as her. Later that week I returned home and flew up the stairs to see my friend. Noone could have ever guessed the horror awaiting me beyond the door at the top of the stairs. In her cage, on her back, legs erect and toes splayed, she laid. Beside her, only remnants of the little stuffed bear. I guess I gave her the ultimate company; death. Wherever you are now Blondie, I hope you dance.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Sniper Kitty Favourite

Friday, August 18, 2006

Everything I Need To Know I Learned In the Trailers.

Living in a mob town has it's benefits. Other than the plethora of concrete and brick fortresses, there is the food. Ohhh the food. Last night my man and I had a long overdue date night. We went to my favourite m-town italian eatery, nestled behind the main drag of the downtown core. It's a terracotta and wrought iron palace. The ceilings are clad with murals and the tables are double draped with buttery linens. I couldn't wait to get into the menu. All of the food is prepared with authentic italian hands from bare bones. It just doesn't get any better than this. There is just one small problem. About a month ago my daughter came to me and said, "look mamma, I broke your glasses." Needless to say they're still broken and I don't dare bring out the coke bottles from grade seven. Rather than read the menu through a hand-made pinhole, I asked the waiter if they still had my favourite appetizer; mussles drowned in a diced roma and red wine sauce with hot peppers. Yes. And I sopped it all up with chunks of muffuletta. Now the main dish is one that I don't eat often lest I might start to resemble one. Gnocchi. But not just any Gnocchi. This is Gnocchi alla Gorgonzolla. And the boy had his favourite, Pennette all' Arrabbiata, because everything he eats must be spicy. Sometimes I swear he'd put habaneros in his cereal if that weren't a completely disgusting thing to do.

As dreamy as dinner was, it was merely a the most awesome movie ever! Praise be to 8lb 6oz baby jesus. I won't say anymore in the unfortunate case that you haven't seen it yet.

But before the movie even began there were the trailers. The trailers that I usually hate. I take it all back. If it weren't for trailers I may never have known this. And why hadn't I ever heard of the genious that is Sacha Baron Cohen before? Am I a social leper? I suck when it comes to patience, so I'm not quite sure how to cope until this movie is released in the fall. Any suggestions?

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Today's list is short. Short for several reasons. First and foremost my computer is a piece of annoying shit. Secondly, this stupid page keeps getting in my way. Thirdly, there is fuck all for interesting on blogger today.

>> but... my name is Kat.

>> The only blog I found today, worth reading . He even has a bit of WTF? and AAAAHHHHHH!!!! . This could be love.

>> ahhh, bunnies

>> ummm... I'm afraid to comment.

I'm going to stop now while it's still safe.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Rodney Rude

Now here's some funny shit for ya (tits). Although be warned, his name doesn't lie. So don't go opening this at work or with the little stinkers around.

Well, gotta go. Call again.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Notes To Self:

Get with the program. Buy a digital camera and get a scanner so you can share the disturbing images in your mind with the nice people...cmon, the affect is lost when you use stock photo.

Relax. It's not just you. This is not the Dr. Snuggles you remember. Sacrilege!

Pick the right lottery numbers for once. Nobody likes a loser.

Men don't listen. How many times do I have to tell you this?

Get one of these. Very handy.

Have lost all respect for Sammy. But I've been reconsidering since he sent me this message.
(Quit playing games with your heart. Don't fall for it Kat)

Friday, August 11, 2006

An Addendum On Earl Earlier

After receiving way too much information I was reminded of her. I met her first in MAXIM several years ago. Then she made a cameo in one of my favourite shows, NIP TUCK, as the lovely Kimber. She is the cadillac of phallic. Nice ring. I don't care who you are, this thing is some serious piece of rubber. I mean cmon. Either you're REALLY horny...too much for any REAL woman in the REAL world (get real)... or you're batchelor #2, or you're stupid rich and bored and a pervert, or you're just a pervert. Whatever. Call me a pervert, cause I have this need to touch this doll. Not caress it. Not get it on. Just poke it in the tit.

Now if the entire thing is just too much rubber for ya, you can always scale down to just a
torso. WTF? A torso?
oooo here we go. You can get just a nice
pair o' boobies....or they're sold seperately if two is too many (who needs two?).

TTFN (two tits for naugtynoseyneighbours)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

"You won't believe what I'm lookin' at right now." -Regis

The Hoff's Entertainment Pick (why doesn't this surprise me?)

ummm...had to share this. I laughed, I screamed, I cried.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


From time to time I dare to go to the NEXT BLOG. Care to see what I found today?

>> Zdejcia (no he's not a mythical wv) needs a friend (and some other help I'm not willing to give).

>> NEXT we have this kid's life minute by minute. I can't stand it. I've gotta go back and see what he's gonna do next...

>> ahhh watercolours

>> What is the life expectancy of fish that nearly drown 6 to 8 times a day?

>> Well whaduya know! I found a friend for Zdejcia. Do not worry. There'll be no language barriers here. Becoze everyone zpeaks zee language ove love...les meeuuu, les purrrrr....

>> Somebody buy me this bed!

>> Friend or Foe?

>> What's a shmoo?
...and does she know this? If it's #10 I'm not trying her food.

>> Only schmoo's go here. I'm still in shock cause I'm not a schmoo.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Things That Are Wrong


This is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I didn't think it was possible to uncoolify the blues. But Stephen Seagal and his band Thunderbox (the name itself is just fn' retarded!) have gone and done it. This is worse than Keanu Reeves' Dogstar

And then there is this. It is now confirmed. David Hasselhoff does drugs. All he needs now is a mustache and a persistantly ill-timed erection.

Oh no, I spoke too soon.
This is CREEPY! This song is for serial killers. Didn't you hear them David? They said NO!

And finally,
it just wouldn't be fair if I didn't leave you with this. I think I have vomit in my ear.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Talking to Americans CBC Special (PART 1) f/ Rick Mercer

*WARNING* This may be funnier to some than others. Poopy pants must be accompanied by a sense of humour to watch.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I Am Not a Mind Reader...

....sometimes I like to think I am. But I am not. And I don't wanna be. But the average eater outer (I mean diners not divers) certainly thinks that I am. Like the other day. A stupid girl and her stupider mother wanted to share a dinner. Apparently they were not only stupid, but stupid and cheap. They were splitting a steak and half lobster. Fine. They're not the first birds to flock into my section. So, when we split a plate we give each bird their own choice of seed, or in this case potato. The stupid girl chooses mashed and her cheap maternal counterpart wants a baked. Fine. Nothing more is said and the order is placed. When the feed is ready, I bring it out. In front of the stupid girl I place the lobster with mashed and her cheap ass mama gets the steak with baked. But apparently I have now become the stupid one. Stupid because I didn't read their fucking minds when they telepathically told me that it was actually supposed to be the steak with mashed for stupid girl and the lobster with baked for cheap ass mama. They hastily exchanged cow for crustacean, sighing heavily all the if I'd caused them some great pain. If I could have heard their chirpy voices past their stupid skulls I'm sure I would have stabbed them both with a seafood fork. Now that's pain. Kinda like how Hazel would deal if she ever found out who ate her lunchables.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


This is a very tasty traditional German dessert or drink. I'm kinda late posting this (you'll see why if you read on). I only just thought of it after reading Cheezy's blog about fondue. Anyhoo...all you alchies out there will love this one. But again, my impatient friends, like the ribs this recipe takes tender time.

Stuff you'll need~

a rumtopf (a german clay pot)
a cool place to store said pot
lots o'white sugar
lots o'rum of any colour or flavour
lots 0'fruit in season (but not apples or me, they're yucky)

This is how we do it...sha la la la laaa ahhh...break it down now!~

Ok. So the best way to do this is to buy a pint of fruit (preferably berries and peaches...even plums, although I hate plums) when it is in season. Take the pint and stir it in a bowl with sugar. The ratio is 2 to 1 -fruit to sugar. Then dump it in your topf and add just enough rum to cover the layer. Cover topf with plastic wrap, an elastic band and replace the lid. Store in a cool dark place until next fruit is in season. If you're not too sure wait atleast 2 weeks before adding the next fruit layer. Once your topf is full, leave it sealed and stored until Christmas. You can serve it over ice cream, waffles, french toast, pound cake or warm it up and serve it as a drink with a cinnamon stick. This stuff rocks! Soooo worth the wait.

Your welcome ;o)