Monday, July 31, 2006

Retro Trivia

Ok, it's time to get out your retro recall. I'm gonna take ya back in TV time and see what your fried brains can dig up.

1. Who sang the theme song to Growing Pains?

2. Where was Balki Bartokomous from?

3. What was the theme song to the Greatest American Hero?

4. What were the names of the 2 families on Soap?

5. What was Angela's job on Who's The Boss?

6. What actress did Kirk Cameron have fired from Growing Pains for posing in Playboy?

7. What blockbuster movie star started out on The Facts of Life?

8. How many of the stars of Different Strokes had trouble with the law?

9. Which of the stars of Different Strokes attempted suicide?

10. Who was the youngest actress on Golden Girls?

....more to come next week!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Don't Know Whatcha Got, Till It's Gone

One of the coolest jobs I ever had was at a place called Mermaid's Lounge. It was the most unassuming, rockinest bar to ever crouch into 4 stone walls. Every night was music night. Not your ordinary bar bands. Not your crappy karaoke. And never, and I mean NEVER EVER a wannabe wedding DJ. Just really cool and really real MUSIC. I miss it. It's where I met my man. It's where I was stalked by a scronny, narcissistic cartoonist and fellow employee. It's where I did mushrooms, that the boss handed out, while I was working. It's where I met artists and artisans. And yes, it's even where I met the man who wanted to be my sugar daddy. This place changed me. I saw Jack deKeyser in his tighty whities. Bisquit boy shared smokes with me and told me I was beautiful (he is sadly missed). And bringing Frankie Venom (teenage head) out of a drunken rage was a skill only I had mastered. Stacey Earle. Now this girl is real. Her honesty and presence was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed. Her musicality moved me to tears. Being wrapped up in such a solid web of talent is something I'll never forget. I only wish I could still go there to hear the music play. Sadly it is no longer. But if you press yourself against those cold grey stones you can still feel the pulse.

Here's just a taste of the talent:

The Be Good Tanyas
Sarah Slean
Jack DeKeyser
The late great Richard Newel aka King Bisquit Boy
Teenage Head
Willie Big Eyes Smith
Nash the Slash
Stacey Earle ( her brother wrote Copperhead Road)
Stephen Fearing

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Pretty Stories and Funny Pictures (Not)For Little Children

I remember, back in highschool, this guy Zach reading from a book called Pretty Stories and Funny Pictures For Little Children by Heinrich Hoffmann. Let's just say there was nothing pretty nor funny (ok, well funny yes but for kids no) about this book. Now, all of these 'stories' were designed with some kind of moral in mind. But lemme tell ya, they were all like Rock a Bye Baby from a 20 story building by a crack whore mother. One sweet tale, that is permanently etched in my mind, warns of a little girl who plays with matches/gets caught on fire/runs around flaming/then falls to the ground dead/ with illustrations to match! (psst if you click the red link you'll see the flaming girl for yourself) Do we need to horrify children to teach them?...I was 16 and it scared me. Any hoo, my friend Amy sent me these story book covers. And ya know, they don't seem so far off from the real thing.

Friday, July 21, 2006


Ok. I just lost this post and I'm pissed cause it was a long one. ARRRRGGGHHH!
So let's try this again. Booooo!
Got this one from cheezy . You can play along too. Write down the first 10 bands that come to mind. Then copy and paste the questions and answers to your own blog. Replace my answers with your own and then post!

Here's my picks:

1 Led Zeppelin
2 Nirvana
3 The Rolling Stones
4 The Black Crowes
5 The Tragically Hip
6 The Be Good Tanyas
7 Alice in Chains
8 Radio Head
9 Pink Floyd
10 Pearl Jam

And now for the questions:

1. What was the first song you ever heard by 6? I'm not sure. Probably something from Chinatown

2. What is your favourite album of 8?

3. What is your favourite lyric of 5? All of At the Hundreth Meridian.

4. How many times have you seen 4 live? Never :o(

5. What is your favourite song by 7? That's a toughy. Don't Follow is definately one.

6. Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad? The Rolling Stones don't exactly make me

7.What is your favourite lyric of 9? "If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"

8. What is your favourite song by 1? D'yer Maker

9. How did you get into 8? I heard Creep on the radio and fell in love.

10. What is your favourite song by 4? Seeing Things

11. How many times have you seen 1 live? I was a little young to see Led Zeppelin when they would have been touring :o(

12. What is a good memory concerning 2? Partying all night long to Nirvana at a Kegger in London (Ontario that is)

13. Is there a song by 2 that makes you sad? Man Who Sold the World

14. What is your favourite song of 6? Have a listen ~ The Junkie Song

15. How did you become a fan of 10? Pearl Jam was all the rage when I was in Grade 9.

Love the Breasts Your With

If you're reading this post, you either have a very special set of knockers or you know a set or two that you'd protect with your life. Please, please go here and then pass on what you've seen to all the breasts you've loved before. Save the Tatas save a life. Semantics aside, this is a type of breast cancer not widely heard of.

Be safe, be well,

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Fawlty Towers - The Germans

For Lizzy, Earl and Slyde.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen. If this doesn't convert you Slyde, nothing will. It's the whole episode so you'll need time to worth it though!

Monday, July 17, 2006

UnBoring BBQ Baby Back Ribs for the Blood Thirsty

Yummy Stuff You'll Need

2 large pork back ribs
1 large half pan with rack(to keep your babies out of the steam bath)
tin foil
plastic wrap

~the steam bath
1 can dark ale
1 cup malt vinegar
1/2 cup water

~ ay there's the rub
1tsp each of:
cayenne pepper
black pepper
garlic salt
onion powder
mustard powder
hungarian paprika
crushed bay leaves

~so saucey
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup tomato paste
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup malt vinegar
3 tbsp brown sugar
3 tbsp honey
1/2 tsp each of white pepper and salt
2 cloves minced garlic
2 tbsp minced onions (that means chop em up till you can't chop em no more....or use a grater)
2 tbsp butter...yes the real stuff...none a that margarine crap

~ melt the butter in a sauce pan. Saute onions and garlic until onions are clear. Melt in sugar and honey. Then stir in the vinegar and worcestershire. Bring to a soft boil, reduce and add remaining ingredients. Keep warm until ready to use or refrigerate for later use.

How ya do er up

Ok so the key to this is time and patience. Never rush a good rib. So you may be a little bored waiting, but in the end your blood thirsty ways will be well fed. To start you need to mix the rub and then spread it across the top of your ribs. Be firm yet gentle. Then wrap em up good and tight in several layers of any old plastic wrap. Now let your ribs sweat it out (in the fridge of course) for atleast 12 hrs or over night as they say.

When you're good and bored, pull them puppies out and preheat your oven to 325F. Pour the bath into the bottom of your half pan. Then set in the rack and lay the rubbed ribs on top. Wrap the top tightly with tin foil. Let your ribs steam for 1 hr. Now in the mean time, to keep up your interest, whip up a fresh batch of my BBQ sauce and get yer grill fired up good and hot. Remove your steamed ribs and lay them on the grill coated in BBQ sauce. The key here is not to cook them much further. At this point we're only searing them with sauce and building a bit of a char, so make sure the barby's good and hot. Remove, plate and scarf back with the same brand of dark ale you used in the bath.

Your welcome ;o)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Better Than Sci-Fi

"Brain Cannister" by Chris Hawkes
I've never been one for sci-fi because I believe the real thing is much more fascinating. And here's the proof.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Not in Kansas Anymore

Alright kids and monkies and whoever else is out there listening or not. I know you're there. Lurking around my sight and not naughty, nosey neighbours. So, let's break the ice with a little weather talk.

How's the weather over there?
uh huh.
oh...the weather here? So glad you asked. It's bizarro to say the least. Yes. I'm sure the weather man shit his pants when he saw what happened yesterday. See weather men like to keep it simple with a bit of sun or some rain. But yesterday was all together different. I think the aliens landed their pods and it screwed with our Mother, Nature. And the Leprechauns finally found their pot o' gold.

Let's see. It rained. There was sun. Clear skies. Cloudy skies. Buckets and sheets of pouring friggin rain. Bright cheery sun again. Lightning bolts and thunder cracks that sounded like the earth was settling. Where did the sun go? Oh, there it is. Ok, now rain and sun at the same time with a nice giant rainbow-full arch, complete with gold and green guy. Brilliant. Cue Clouds. Cue sun. Cue rain. And don't forget as the sun was setting there was sheet lightning in the sky, but someone forgot to cue the thunder. Wow. And to finish her off...a nice fat full moon.
Now how's that for how's the weather. Huh? uh? Huh?

Friday, July 07, 2006

Chris Rock- NEVER SCARED clip

Canada Rocks!

Toronto rocker, Lukas Rossi, kicked some serious ass on Rockstar doing Billy Idol's Rebel Yell.

My premature prediction:

This guy's Tommy Lee's next front man.

Go check him out.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

It's Getting Bigger!!

I'm getting really excited about having my 20 week ultrasound. I'm of the group of parental type folk that would like to know what the sex is before the baby is born. The way I see it- it's only going to be a boy or a girl. No surprise goats or butt probing aliens in this belly. I just like to be prepared.

So every week I visit
this fancy page to find out what the one who kicks me, makes me feel sick and tired, forces me to eat litres of rollo icecream after a bucket of KFC and wakes me up 6 times a night to go potty, might be lookin' like.

This is what my little poker might look like now, at week 17.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Get Off, Put Off or Fuck Off

So what happens when you procrastinate masturbating??

Sunday, July 02, 2006

My Shit Don't Stink

The strangest ideas come to me when I'm at work. There must be something about the methodical chopping and stirring that gets my weird wheels going. Ok, so I'm always borderline. What's it to ya.

So here I am feeding the chickens (aka spicing steaks) when my quiet thoughts are blown right out of my hair follicles by the heavy clangs of a stack of empty, metal pans meeting the tile floor. I'm sure my heart has suffered some damage. That was so friggin' loud! And the guy that did it didn't even flinch. So he picks the pans up and then makes his way to the fridge. He returns with an empty metal cart. As he shoves it along, toward the prep counter to pick up his handy work, it shakes violently and makes an aweful racket not too unlike that of a jack hammer. I need to cover my ears because I'm sure they're already bleeding. Yet again, he seems completely unaffected.

So here's where I start to wonder. Why is it that the noise is louder when you're not the one making it? And does this have anything in common with your own crap never being as vile as someone else's crap? Is it a mental preparedness? An acceptance of one's own actions but in turn having no tolerance for the equal actions of others?

If I ever take another psych course I'm doing an essay on this phenom.
But my bet is, noone will find it quite as riveting as me.