Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My Celebrity Look-alikes

Funny. This is nothing like I have ever been told.
But hey. Who's complaining anyhow ;o)

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from Get one for yourself.

I'm So Addicted... facebook. It hasn't even been 2 days and I've already lost several hours of sleep.

help me

Monday, March 26, 2007

Another Stolen Meme

Really. No need to be tagged. I just steal em from folks like Cheezy

3 Things That Scare Me:

3 People Who Make Me Laugh:
John Cleese
Will Ferrell
Chris Rock

3 Things I Love:
My better half
My daughters
Cooking and Music...I know that's 4...but I just couldn't choose!

3 Things I Hate:
Bad Drivers
Seeds in my oranges and grapes

3 Things I Don't Understand:
Organized Religion
My computer

3 Things On My Desk
Lots of Books
Wedding crap

3 Things I'm Doing Right Now:
Baby balancing
Writing a meme

3 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
Be published more than once in several genres
Travel more
Perform again

3 Things I Can Do:
play piano

3 Things I Can't Do:
Ski or Skate (not without falling on me arse anyhow)
Play guitar...and I've always wanted to.
Whistle. Sounds more like a deflating balloon.

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To:
That little voice inside your head that says "Nuh, uh, uh. Turning the car into oncoming traffic is COUNTER PRODUCTIVE!" or "it might not be such a good idea to keep a the glove compartment."~Jim Carrey
a VARIETY of music

3 Things You Should Never Listen To:
Beer Goggles

3 Things I'd Like To Learn:
More piano

3 Favourite Foods:

3 Shows I Watched As A Kid:
Dr. Snuggles
The Dukes of Hazard
The Hilarious House of Frightenstein

3 Bloggers I've tagged:

Friday, March 23, 2007

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


The last time I can recall celebrating St. Patty's Day was about 10 years ago. The operative word being recall. But, March 17th, 2007? This day is forever etched into my psyche.

We hopped aboard a GO bus bound for Toronto. A bus I used to travel on frequently back in my University days. A bus I had forgotten existed. Too bad really. I'm sure I've wasted much time, gas and road rage travelling the Q.E.W. in my car all these years. Earlier that day I was smacked with a headache when the hubby smoked us out of the house by burning his must have toast. (He's always eating. That is something we'll discuss again a little later.) The pounding had almost subsided when much to my displeasure did the idiot behind me start laughing at regular and annoying intervals. What was he laughing at? Dunno. Don't care. But we snapped a pic on Liz's phone all the same. Maybe she'll show it to ya.

6:30 or somewhere there by; We have arrived at GO Union Station(not to be confused with Union Station. Another thing we'll come back to later.) Damn it's chilly. No. Make that freezing! The wind is whipping up my skirt like a wind that isn't whipping won't. Another forgotten T.O. memory. Chicago ain't the only windy city my friends. And with the wind comes the lovely stench of rot...or maybe it's Angus Thripshaw? Da Da Dum (a little elbow swingin' dance). In any case, we walked a few city blocks full of anticipation. Along the way we passed my old stompin' grounds and a few pubs that were already overflowing with lines of eager drinkers and drunkards and maybe even a few leprechauns...or maybe that was later. Not sure now. Worry started to set in that we might have to wait in the literally stinkin' cold. Nearing the bar I could see that the line was much smaller than we had seen previously, consisting of 30 people at best. Well. Let. Me. Tell. You. A line of 30 waits 2 hours. I'm fairly decent at math, so that's 60 minutes per hour multiplied by 2 is 120 minutes divided by 30 is 4. So, every 4 minutes 1 person entered the building. HOLY SHIT! Except that sneaky miss Liz was slipped a smoking pass by some loverly fellar leaving the bar and she got in 20 minutes before the man and I. Bitch! I almost lost my toes.

9:00pm, or there abouts and we are finally sitting down with a pint and an irish whiskey in hand. Ahhhh. As my good friend Bucky used to say, thank god for that sweet, delicious booze. About 1/2 a pint later and Moxy and Green Fish make their entrance looking much like the fine photos they have shared; Fish sporting his fabulous mohawk and Moxy with her sweet sweet smile. But as the night went on, we discovered they were just the sort of folk you only come across when stars collide (or is that align?). They are rich with character, humour and warmth. Later that night Moxy fluffed the pillows and turned down the sheets to her own bed for me and the man, whilst she slept on the couch and fish slept on a dog bed. He insisted. But the man repaid them with a fridge full of floor kaisers, meat, sliced cheese and hot sauce. Let me come back to that.

Entering stage right is Newfie Steve. SIDE STORY- earlier in line I was telling liz about the show Keeping Up Appearances and how Hyacinth was a wannabe royal brit who insists that her last name,Bucket, is actually pronounced Bouquet. Not sure how the topic came up but it did. Then low and behold we meet Steve...END OF SIDE STORY- ...but we can call him Bucket. What did he say? We can call him Bucket? Of course we just had to tell him the side story and his response was "oh ya. I used to work with a fag who insisted on calling me Bouquet." Allllllrighty then. What are the ridiculous chances? Turns out Bucket was here from the East Coast to support his cousin who was touring with his choir, Men of the Deeps.

Entering stage left is Angus Thripshaw and Larry David. Not too much to tell here except that I had no idea the 2 were musically inclined. WTF?

At some point this guy joined our group.

And as all good leaches do, he hung on. As you can see, I was rather confused by his presence. He also had an equally annoying friend who sat behind me muttering and occasionally would ask me if I was all right. Funny. I had been wondering the same thing about him.

After much laughter, Irish song, and copious amounts of deeelicious booze we had closed the bar. When the last time I did that was...well...3 weeks ago for Liz's birthday.

Anyhoo, with the offer to stay at our new blog friends' apartment we forcibly piled into a cab and then spilled out onto the sidewalk a few blocks later. On the way towards the apartment we stopped at one of the many RABBA food marts for a little drinkie mix. Once settled in upstairs, Green fish poured us a fine green cocktail (rather fitting) of which we were not to ask the ingredients. All of a sudden the hubby realized he was starving and a little unnerved at the fact that noone had purchased any beef. Cause everyone needs beef at a quarter to four in the A.M. After discovering noone would deliver any beef, he trotted back down to the store, returning with none other beef. He did however find the floor kaisers. Yes. In the gals first trip into the store they had admired in horror the bags of kaisers that were being displayed, elegantly on the floor. Apparently the man thought they needed rescuing along with one length of polish sausage, sliced cheese, 2 tomatoes, 4 Johnny Canuck-ring of fire dried pepperettes, 1 bag of blue corn chips, 1 tub of hummus and of course- something the man can never do without- a bottle of hot sauce. None of which he ate. Instead. He passed out.

For 3 lovely hours the man on I slept on our friends' soft, warm bed. Several hours and numerous vomits from the male section later, we made our way out for breakfast. Despite clear skies and a blinding sun, the streets were windier and colder than ever. In return for the comfort of their abode, we treated moxy and fish to breakfast and bid them a short farewell. We had a bus to catch. Our cabbie must have been more hungover than we were cause he took us to the train station(Union Station) instead of the bus station(GO Union Station). They're close. But not close enough. By the time our feet hit the platform it was 11:33 and we had missed the bus we'd planned on taking. Ah well. Liz found an abandoned newspaper to occupy her time. In it we discovered that someone may be plotting the death of Stephen Harper.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

St. Patty's Day Tales

So much to tell so little time.
Full story -complete with photos- to come and here are some of the highlights:
...and much much more my mind is too foggy to recollect at this time.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Weekend Viewing

Great Grandpa and baby.

My cousin's birthday...just 2 weeks before my daughter. My uncle and I are only 12 years apart and had our first children the same year.

My daughter watching her birthday balloons fly through the air.

Three cousins, all born the same year, having a rousing game of Dora dominos.

More 3 year old art. This is Smudge's 2nd portrait on doodle board.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

As Seen On Paper

My brother sent me this one. It's pretty funny, like when your friend asks the cab driver if he just ate a sub cause his cab smells like fresh sub, but really it was the cabbie that smelt and it probably wasn't sub at all, just really bad bad B.O. like the guy I had to sit beside in band whose stench was so rank that it actually hurt my nose forcing me to cover it with my sleeve in between toots on my french horn. True stories, like those untold of the E.R.

Every year, English teachers from across the US can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners...

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Monday, March 12, 2007

There Really Is A Market For Everything

Inspired by TBDOA!
Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this creepy!
And expensive! Holy crap!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Stolen Meme

Saw this at Joe's and Cheezy's. Stole it.
And here ya go...

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Cook
2. Yamaha Piano and Guitar Sales
3. Kitchen Manager
4. Bartender

Four movies I would watch over and over (and have):this is a toughy cause I don't usually watch more than once.
1. Goodfellas
2. The Shining
3. Happy Gilmour
4. Carlitos Way

Four places I have lived:
1. Hamilton, ON
2. Toronto, ON
3. Oakville, ON
4. Mount Hope, ON

Four TV shows I like to watch:
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Law and Order SVU and Criminal Intent
4. Criminal Minds

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Quebec City, Quebec
2. Minneapolis, Minnesota
3. South Carolina: Myrtle Beach and Hilton Head
4. England: London, Kent, Nottinghamshire, Bath, Paignton

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Soup
2. Pasta
3. Seafood
4. Cheese

Four of my favorite animals:
1. Eagles
2. All cats
3. Cows
4. Dolphins

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. The Muskokas
2. Australia
3. Italy
4. Islay, Scotland YES! Drinking a fabulous single malt!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Overheard At Our House

The 3year old- "Look at the stupid cat. I'm gonna kick it in the nut sack!"

Me- "What? Hon. What did she just say?"

Hon- (laughing hysterically)"She said nut sack!"

Me- (trying to contain laughter so that 3year old isn't rewarded for the bad word) "sssshhhh! Where did she learn that?" (note hint of sarcasm)

Hon- "Not from me."

Me- "Ok. Keep telling yourself that."

Friday, March 02, 2007

Thursday, March 01, 2007

It Makes My Head Hurt

TV last night. Before watching LOST I had some time to kill and there was about zero on. Till I stumbled across this retarded pile of crap. But what the hell do I expect from FOX anyhow. The woman on this show had a GPA of 3.3. But apparently she slipped on the ice and bashed her head on her way into the studio, cause she was missing a few points. One of the questions was, "which country shares the longest border with the US?" She got it wrong. She had to use a lifeline from a 10 year old...who got it right. Somehow the dumb broad managed to go home with 100 grand after getting the question, "how many decades are in 2 millenia?" wrong. AAAAAAAH!!!!!!! So annoying.

UPDATE- in all fairness I should have mentioned that she did in fact get the question, "what colour do you get when you mix equal parts red with equal parts yellow?" right.