What is Wrong With People?

Got my most recent issue of 2 magazine. It was a free gift from one of the stores I have my wedding registry with. Not bad really. It's got some fairly interesting reads on food and sex and it's geared towards couples. But I have to share this because it's way too much like this and I'm having a hard time understanding the whole thing. Are guys really so horny that they need a plush toy or a hundred pound chunk of latex with orfices to take to bed? Which reminds me, I was at the store the other day for a couple of in and out sort of things, but nothing is ever very quick when you've got 2 kids to take with. I was rounding the corner to the checkout and nearly bumped into a woman doing the lane hop. Apparently she was in a rush, but she asked me kindly if I'd like to go ahead. And I respond so kindly, no thank you, reiterating my sentiments on quickness and kids. Well. Isn't this just like the driver who's in such a hurry to pull out that they cut you off when there are no cars behind you, and then they SLOW DOWN. Little miss I'm- in- a- rush decides to apply for one of the store credit cards. Now I'm flogging myself for being so nice (no after you... no I insist, after you.) and wanting to do the same to her for being such a selfish tit. Time passes (probably only a minute but it felt like an hour) and my eyes haven't yet managed to burn a hole in the back of her head, so I hastily do the lane hop myself. The cashier apologizes and I assure her, loudly, that it wasn't her that was the issue. But of course the lane I chose slows down and my original checkout is now empty. fuck