The Verbal Tipper

Hiding behind his warm and caring smile is the verbal tipper. He is a most gracious guest. Using 'please' and 'thank you' and 'certainly yes' to cover up his meagre wallet; don't be fooled, he is a sly diner. More often he can be heard exclaiming, over his second after-dinner drink, "this is the best service I've ever had!". All this verbal diarrhea is certainly followed by a pathetic tip. Unfortunately I have fallen prey to these venial tactics; and they don't pay the bills. So if any of the aforementioned sounds at all familiar (and it's not because you've served one before), then I suggest you stay home and compliment the cook who slaved over your own stove; even if that means patting your own back. My back is just fine. I do enough unpaid work changing dirty diapers and making homemade squash soup. I go to work to make money...so if ya got none to offer, keep your mouth shut.