Woke up this morning and opened my mail. I should have taken a Valium first. Shit. So here the hubby is, all the way out west, trying to make us more money but the bills keep getting bigger. We're no further ahead then we were before he started. And that's just to pay the bills. Never mind the debt this work was supposed to be putting a dent in. And never mind the fact that he's so far away and I'm missing him badly.
But I think it's harder for him. He's the one who's not at home. He's the one who's missing his wife and his kids. His youngest is talking at 13 months old and he's missing it: Puppy, Hi, pretty, cracker, apple, E-I-E-I-O, toe-toe, banana and bubble are just a few. And his eldest is old enough to miss him too. I know he's doing a good thing, providing for his family but it breaks my heart to see tears streaming down my 3 year old's face because her daddy isn't here. It makes me think of how hard it is for soldiers and their families to be separated for great lengths of time and space and with the threat of death looming all the while.
On a smaller yet equally shitty note, I am completely LOST. I had missed the second episode because of sheer exhaustion. So on thursday I passed up the 9 o'clock viewing of the third episode to watch two and three back to back on a time shifting channel. There I was with a bowl of freshly popped corn on my lap, chilled beer in one hand and the remote in the other.
Ready.
Aim.
Dead air.
Dead fucking air. Not even a spec of snow. Just black. What the mother?
So I called the cable company and some annoyed chick answers, "Cable company answering service, what is your message?"
"Ya. Um. Channel 380 isn't working. It's the only channel on the whole system not working. Do you know why?"
"Um, I'm an ANSWERING SERVICE. I have no idea why. I really can't help you. Do you have a message?"
"(ya. go fuck yourself.) Well it doesn't really do me any good to leave a message for someone later about a show I can't watch now."
I checked back every minute for an hour and a half. Nothing. But of course when I woke up in the morning it worked just fine. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
