A Different Language

I love people. With the way I complain about guests you might think the opposite. But really, most folks are quite entertaining. And fodder for my brainstorming tank. Tonight I had numerous samples to take note of.

Sample #1

If someone asked you for a twist of lime what would you bring? I brought a twist. This was met with a nasty-roll-of-the-eye and the following lines of conversation:

uninformed diner- "um, excuse me miss. But is there actually lime in this drink?"

me- "yes."

uniformed diner- "well ok. But I actually need like some lime. Like a few wedges. What is this?"

me- "That's a twist. I'm so sorry, I thought you asked for a twist."

uniformed diner- "Well yes, but (insert sarcastic laugh here) I actually need some lime in my drink. Whenever you get a second would be fine."

me- (wtf? do you know what a fucking twist is????)


sample #2

This guy takes the cake. He was actually referring to his wife in the 3rd person as he was speaking to her.

fucked up grammar guy- "Would she like mashed potatoes with her chicken?"

FUGG's wife- "I'm not sure. I think she might like fries."

me- (wtf?...who are you people talking about????)


sample #3

This is a mild example but happens frequently. It's the old 'you asked us a question and we said no, but we're going to ask you for it as though you never asked in the first place.'

me- (clearing dinner plates)"Would anyone like me to bring a coffee or some dessert menus?"

Cattle- "mooooooo." (no)

me- (brings the bill)

moments later...

Cattle- "moooo. mooo mooo mooooooooo. mooo moo." (um excuse me. But we'd like a couple of coffees and a dessert menu here.)

me- (wtf??...silly me I meant, moo mooo mooo moo moooooo?)