...for that yearly visit. The ladies know what I mean. Nothing is worse. (Except maybe being strip searched at the border or waterboarded. But I'm only guessing cause luckily I've never been subjected to either of those.) Really. Trying to carry on a normal conversation with my doctor while one of us is dressed in a white tissue outfit is more than a little bit awkward. As for on the table? Well. There is no normal conversation to have when in that position. And no conversation at all is even worse still; it's the loudest silence.
So. Why not exemplify this taboo in a good ole freaky flick? Maybe you've heard, maybe you're blissfully unaware. In any case, I am at the same time most pleased and horrified to see that someone has actually gone there.
Speaking of cunts. There is one loose at work. I want to throw steaming mashed potatoes at her.
And finally I need to leave you with a scary bit of trivia. Apparently the song Sweet Caroline by Mr. Diamond was inspired by Caroline Kennedy. Innocent enough...unless you know that the picture which inspired him was of her on horseback at the age of 10! Let me remind you of the lyrics and then you can decide.
Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin you
Warm, touchin warm
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin me
6 comments:
Ugh ... yup, that dreaded visit. The last time I hummed and my doctor said, what are you so happy about? Never again will I utter a sound ...
Vagina dentata ... reminds me of a plant name.
Swarmy Neil Diamond - gross just gross.
Steaming mashed potatoes liberally sprinkled with cayenne pepper perhaps?
Yeah, I was thoroughly skeeved when I heard that news story about "Sweet Caroline".
To semi-quote John Goodman from "The Big Lebowski":
"Ten year olds, Dude."
Yep. I went last month. My doctor was asking me about hockey... it was weird.
You said the "c" word. That's BAAAD.
Neil Diamond... You dirty old c-word you!
maybe i'll go one day, just to see what all the fuss is about...
kate- vagina dentata lol if that were really a plant my husband would have it in the garden for sure! ;o)
earl- not that I ever liked the song (or Neil for that matter) but now it's gone to a ho nutha levol.
lizzy- I did. I said it. And it felt gooooooood.
cheezy- that's what I'm talkin' about.
slyde- do it. do it.
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